Q: What is your major?
A: I’m an English major.
Q: What made you decide to get into that?
A: I like to write, and I like to read. I really love short stories and science fiction, so I’d like to do something with that.
Q: Have you written anything in the past?
A: Yeah, actually. Honestly, I really like to write about space travel just because it’s always been something I’ve wanted to do.
What I like about science fiction is that, where we are now, we long for the stars, but once we’ve left, there’s the same view back toward Earth. There’s affection for things we don’t have.
Q: What’s your favorite sci-fi movie or show?
A: Oh, that’s difficult. “District 9.”
Q: “Doctor Who?”
A: You know, I’ve liked the eleventh Doctor’s run, but I never liked David Tennant. He’s attractive, but it was just a soap opera with time travel. If you’re going to have time travel, make it about something more than getting space poon.
Q: You also draw sometimes?
A: Yeah, I wouldn’t call that anything. I just doodle vaguely offensive things during class. I like to draw the people who are sitting in front of me in compromising situations.
There’s one of a guy who sits in front of me. He was just sitting there, taking his shoes off in class today, so I drew him taking his shoes off. His feet came off as well.
His feet were little separate monsters as well. He looked over and saw this. I was like, “Hi, let me just hide this from you. You can look at the people having sex, but not you with your monster feet.”
Q: What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever eaten?
A: In an armpit of a Chinese restaurant, I had the skunkiest damn curry. It’s so hard to describe. My friend and I were finding all the Chinese places that are really cheap because we were poor college students.
There were about five of them in town, and we went to the second one. There was this soup, and it looked okay. We tasted it, and we smelled it. It tasted like drain cleaner.
I thought, “I have to get curry to clear this out.” I ate the curry and it tasted like the smell of wet dog; plus, that faint aftertaste in the back of your throat of rotting meat. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever eaten.
Q: What’s the most strange or memorable dream you’ve had?
A: When I was in middle school, I had a dream about a friend of mine coming to school in a pink shirt and shooting everybody. The next day, he came in a pink shirt, and I was freaking out.
Q: If you could give yourself super powers, what would you have?
A: It would either be time travel or immortality. I really want to go to the future and fly spaceships. I want to explore the galaxy and get shot at by aliens.
Q: What would you say is the probability that there are aliens out there?
A: I’m going to bank on guessing that there are just because if we’re the only intelligent life out there, that’s pretty disappointing. There’s a good chance, but I don’t think we’ll ever meet them if they evolve around the same rate that we did.
Unless they’re silicon-based, in which case they’ll go a lot slower. I think about this a lot, okay? But the chances of some huge alien fleet coming in and infiltrating us, like in “V,” that’s bullshit.
Q: Let’s say you’re elected president. What do you do?
A: I would abscond. I would impeach myself somehow. I think the people in power should be the ones who know what they’re talking about.
Beauty, truth, justice, all these things. Wisdom. I haven’t got that.
Q: Well, that kind of kills my last question, because I was going to ask for parting words of wisdom.
A: Oh. Don’t do drugs. I smoked a weed once, and I tell you, it was bad.