Moths. Everywhere. Moths in your room. Moths in your car. Moths in your wallet. Moths in your food. Moths in your pants.
If you haven’t said it yet, you’ve certainly thought it – where the heck did all these moths come from? One day there weren’t any moths, and then all of a sudden – bam. Moths everywhere.
These little nuisances migrate over to the Colorado mountains by way of Kansas, but really, they set up camp in Kansas. Who wants to go to the mountains when you can bug the crap out of Kansans just as easily? See, if they were going to Colorado, they should only be around for a couple weeks. That, however, is not the case.
I remember, last summer, having to fight off a significantly large swarm of moths when I got home if I left my porch light on. I would find several a day lying dead on the floor somewhere. This happened the entire summer.
The situation hasn’t changed. I hesitate turning my porch light on before I leave the house in fear that the moths will swarm around my head and attack me with their awful moth bodies when I get home. Seriously, it’s every person for themselves out there – attack of the miller moths.
And no matter what you do to kill these things, you can never quite kill them off. They either multiply in phenomenal rates, or they have nine lives like cats. I’ll go with the latter.
I trapped a moth in a jar once. It’s not inhumane. Don’t judge me. After a few days, it quit moving and flying around like a bull in a China closet. It had to be dead, right?
Wrong. I opened the jar, and as I was tipping it over to throw the little bugger in the trash, out the moth flew. I’m telling you – nine lives.
They’re obviously as dumb as doornails. You know the expression, “Running around like a chicken with its head cut off”? It should state, “Flying around like a moth.” I know it’s a little less interesting, but it’s a whole lot more accurate. Moths can’t fly in a straight line to save their lives. It’s like they’re on crack.
Moths aren’t like other bugs, either. I hardly ever notice the infestation of ants in the backyard, but moths fly around and dive-bomb your face. Their sole purpose in life is to fly around your head constantly and annoy the living daylights out of you. Why can’t you just leave us alone?
The solution to at least corralling a few moths is to use soapy water in a pan and put a light near it. The light brings the millers in to their soapy water death, and voila, a few less millers flying around.
But that’s an inefficient way to rid yourself of the winged bothers. Just light one of them on fire. It’ll fly around like a lunatic and catch the rest of them on fire and possibly your house, but at least there won’t be anymore millers, right?